thoughts on life

2011-09-25T21:04:00.003-05:00

I got the best hug today. It was one of those squeeze-you-tight-so-all-my-love-enters-into-your-soul kind of hugs. This kind of hug is rare, but when you get one its impact is tremendous.

I can't help but wonder what the world would be like if each and every day we all got a hug like this.

2011-09-18T20:53:00.000-05:00

"Education is about learning how to deal with uncertainty and ambiguity. It is about learning how to savor the quality of the journey. It is about inquiry and deliberation. It is about becoming critically minded and intellectually curious, and it is about learning how to frame and pursue your own educational aims." --Elliot Eisner

2011-09-18T10:49:00.001-05:00

"Every time you speak the truth you're making justice in this world. . . . The doors you open others can come through."--George Ella Lyon

2011-09-17T21:27:00.002-05:00

"There is no way to peace.
Peace is the way."
--A.J. Muste

Where I'm From

2011-09-08T20:20:00.002-05:00

I am from hex signs,

from pretzels and Lebanon balogna.

I am from carpenter ants (black, hearty, like moving bits of blackberries along the front porch).

I am from the torrential summer rains, the still waters of Bernhart's Dam.

I am from diet Coke and prozac,

from Elsie and Leah.

I am from the laugh when you fall and the pick-you-up when you've fallen.

From be nice and damn, I'm good.

I am from He is Risen! Families are Forever, and I'm trying to be like Jesus.

I'm from Wernersville and Kutztown

Tastykakes and pork-n-sauerkraut, eaten every New Year's Day so that the year is filled with luck.

From the great-grandfather who lifted 100-lb barrels of pickles,

the grandmother who lifted elderly patients from beds to wash and bathe them.

I am from notebooks of names carefully gathered and documented--

the settlers of New York, the farmers of the Midwest and the Germans of Pennsylvania,

the land grant owners of New Mexico--

names plucked and preserved from the fruit of my family tree.

2011-09-06T07:13:00.001-05:00

I'm reading Vygotsky's Thought and Language. I love Vygotsky. He's one of my academic heroes. But . . . I have to admit, I love Mind in Society better. I'm getting a little tired of Vygotsky analyzing other people's theories on thought and language. I want to read what Vygotsky has to say on the matter.
It's like when I go to church . . . I get tired of people comparing our church to other churches. I just want to hear about what we believe.

2011-09-05T14:10:00.001-05:00

A gloriously delicious fall day. Bring on the cool!

Autumn Blush

2011-08-17T10:50:00.001-05:00

Does Autumn blush
because she knows
soon she will be bare?

(c)tlm

Another one I found . . .

2011-08-11T08:42:00.002-05:00

Dawn gently kisses
last night's tears.

(c) teddi lynn

A little poem . . .

2011-08-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

I'm going through my writing folders getting ready for my writing retreat this week . . . here's a little poem I'd written in 2009 playing with Peter, Paul, & Mary's "Where Have All the Flowers Gone."

Where the Flowers Have Gone

The flowers that adorned the hill
were gathered and braided
by young maidens with care
who gave them as tokens
to handsome young beaus
as they marched off to war
when duty called.
The soldiers fought hard to defeat the foe.
Too many though
forever rest beneath
earth's velvet blanket,
now bathed in Nature's tears
which make the flowers grow
that cover the hill
on which the maidens gather and braid them.

(c)2009 teddi lynn

2011-08-06T12:28:00.000-05:00

Immersing myself in poetry as I get ready for my writing retreat.

Better than prozac!

2011-07-27T20:01:00.001-05:00

I'm supposed to be writing--not here. But for my academic writing group. But instead of putting down my ideas about sociopsycholinguistics or minishared reading or how to interpret beginning writers' spelling I'm sitting here. Writing here. Sigh.

2011-06-23T19:23:00.001-05:00

Where were you the summer of ’85? The summer of the Cola Wars?

I was in middle school. Not even much of soda drinker. But when there’s war, you must choose sides. I chose Coke. Maybe it was those commercials in the 70s--people sitting together, lighting candles, and wanting to teach the world to sing. I mean, really, how can you argue with world peace AND singing?

As with any war, propaganda was prolific. And the enemy’s most notable spokesman? Michael Jackson. His message sent chills down my spine. Pepsi--the choice of a new generation.

On the outside I was utter mock and disdain. Choice of a New Generation? Right. I was of the New Generation and my choice was Coke.

But on the inside, I was all quivers and trembles.

Then came the Pepsi Challenge. My already teen-angst-ridden heart tightened with even more, well, angst. I allowed myself to voice my darkest fears . . . what if Pepsi won? What if they really were the choice of the New Generation? Where was a girl to find her Coke? The black market? (Coke and) Rum Runners?

It turns out Coke won--at least that first war.

Mini-insurrections continued to break out in the ensuing decades. I waved my, by this time, diet Coke-loving flag loudly and proudly. And while I survived the continuing barrages of brain-washing messages, I did NOT survive the CC. College Crush.

It took a sweet country boy to turn my diet Coke-loving heart to the Other Side. What Michael Jackson and his singing and dancing, and fire-flaming hair could not accomplish, John Tracy did.

John helped me find my New Coke. It was Diet Pepsi. And while I certainly enjoy a diet Coke if the opportunity presents itself--my heart belongs to the choice of my generation.

Can't get this out of my mind

2011-06-19T19:32:00.000-05:00

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
Anais Nin

Pool

2011-06-18T11:37:00.001-05:00

On my back. Floating. Enveloped by blue expanses. Buoyed up by unseen hands. At rest upon a egg-foam nest. Floating. Eyes closed. I drift among my Other Place. Detached. Unplugged. Removed from burdens I cannot bear. Floating. Floating. Floating. Safe.

Bedtimes are never boring . . .

2011-06-08T20:50:00.000-05:00

So, the conversation went like this:

R (my five-year-old): I want a "too tight."

Me: You're supposed to be in bed. (I'd already told her a gabillion times to stay upstairs.)

R: But I'm reminding you to give me a "too tight."

Me: (chuckle)

R: Are you laughing at me because you think I'm cute?

Me: No. I'm laughing because I'm frustrated.

R: Frustrated?

Me: Yes. I'm frustrated--I can either laugh or yell. Which would you rather have?

R: (ponderous silence)--Will it wake Josh up?

2011-06-05T19:41:00.001-05:00

‎"We, the people, are not free,” Helen Keller said. “Our democracy is but a name. We vote? What does that mean? It means we choose between Tweedledee and Tweedledum. We elect expensive masters to do our work for us, and then blame them because they work for themselves and for their class." Helen Keller (June 27, 1880 – June 1, 1968)

We should be worried about fascism . . . not socialism

2011-06-05T19:28:00.003-05:00

"The first truth is that the liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point where it becomes stronger than their democratic state itself. That, in its essence, is fascism - ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. "

-Franklin D. Roosevelt, "Message from the President of the United States Transmitting Recommendations Relative to the Strengthening and Enforcement of Anti-trust Laws"

2011-05-10T11:55:00.001-05:00

2011-04-20T18:06:00.000-05:00

Fairclough, Bakhtin, Luke, Lemke, Leontiev, Wertsch, . . .

the amount of reading I want to get done between semesters is longer the time I have *sigh*

2011-04-19T21:21:00.000-05:00

I helped Mom wrap the Christmas presents that Christmas Eve. The one when my parents were separated. I was all of thirteen or fourteen, but I felt much older as I did the job Dad normally did.

I wrapped my presents last . . . a stone-washed pair of jeans, a button-up shirt with tiny Pepsi logos all over like polka dots. That was it. A lump formed in my throat as too many thoughts rushed through my brain, down my throat, and into my heart.

2011-04-11T21:42:00.000-05:00

I drove home from class tonight with the windows rolled down. The smell of grass and mud and wet and green made me miss my small California desert town. The smell of alfalfa from farmers' fields. Driving around the canals. Nights with a spilled bowl full of milk scattered through sky.

Myriad thoughts and memories flooding my senses as I drove home tonight with the windows rolled down.

2011-04-10T17:22:00.000-05:00

The elephant sitting on my chest as I enter these last few weeks of the semester will soon be replaced by the butterflies in my soul at a job well done.

I love this academic life.

2011-04-01T18:41:00.000-05:00

The situation went down like this . . .

Rachel and I walked into a plus-sized female clothes store.

R: Oh, we're in the girls' store!!!
T: Yep, we are!
R: I want to find something . . .
T: This store is for grown-ups.
R: So, when I grow up I can fit these clothes.
T: (Thinking to myself . . . Lordy, I hope you don't fit these clothes.) Sure thing, Rach.
R: So, what size are you anyway, Mom?
T: I'm not saying.
R: Well, is it like a pint-and-a-half??
T: You got it!
R: (after a pause) So, did I really guess it or are you just April Fooling me?

Then, at the checkout counter, Rachel was trying on the various rings and things and showing me what I needed to buy.

T: We're not buying jewelry today.
Cashier: Did you find something you like? (To Rachel)
R: I can't help it . . . I'm attracted to beautiful things!

Really??

Forest Fire

2011-03-31T16:51:00.000-05:00

Dirty fog
thick, acrid,
burns its throat and eyes.

A marshmallow
makes
its final sacrifice.

tem

2011-03-30T18:47:00.000-05:00

I get almost depressed when I hear about the "reforms" in education. I want to move to a far away island and only come back when/if things get better.

I might not have to move . . .

Today I got an email through a listserv something that gave me hope.

Maybe Americans are finally catching on that government-mandated teaching approaches, testing, and the like are not what we need to produce thoughtful, critical citizens.

Here's to a brighter day!

2011-03-28T14:39:00.000-05:00

Freire states, "If we reflect on the fact that our human condition is one of essential unfinishedness, that, as a consequence, we are incomplete in our being and in our knowing, then it becomes obvious that we are 'programmed' to learn, destined by our very incompleteness to seek completeness, to have a 'tomorrow' that adds to our 'today.' In other words, wherever there are men and women, there is always and inevitably something to be done, to be completed, to be taught, and to be learned."

What kind of schools, government, society would we have if everyone saw themselves in this light?

2011-03-27T19:34:00.000-05:00

Amazing how my first thought when Joseph told me our wash machine isn't working was, "Unfair! Unjust!" I mean, really, how in the world are we to get our clothes washed? Take 'em out to the lake and beat 'em on a rock?

It's almost appalling how the thought of dragging baskets of laundry down to a laundromat makes me feel like a second-rate citizen.

2011-03-26T23:34:00.000-05:00

Paulo Freire, one of the world's most influential educators, once said, "The world is unfinished. It is always in the process of becoming."

Gives me hope for a more just future.

Yep, That's Me!

2010-09-11T22:30:00.001-05:00

I finally got to see my Yankees. I just <3 that Jeter and Rivera. Of course, I was cheering on my Rangers though.

My friend Kaitlin and I even got on TV. How cool is that!!!

Me

2010-09-09T22:13:00.000-05:00

I'm a writer.

I'm a mom. I'm a wife. I'm a friend, a daughter, sister.

I'm a student. I'm a teacher. I'm an advocate, researcher, critic.

I'm foodie. I'm a chef. I'm a baker, creator, inventor.

And, I'm a writer.

Snuggle Bugs

2010-08-29T12:07:00.004-05:00

My favorite moments are snuggling with my kids. My even more favorite moments are when we both get to take naps!

Imagination

2010-08-26T20:27:00.002-05:00

Nothing quite like a child's imagination. I'm certainly enjoying living in the worlds that Rachel creates.

Manly Food

2010-08-25T21:01:00.000-05:00

Josh uses his fork and spoon pretty well, but overall he still prefers eating with his hands. I guess it's a good thing we live in Texas . . . he can get him some ribs and chow down any time he wants. No fork. No knife. Just hands. Mmmmmm! Ribs. Manly man food.

Shari's Third Missing Tooth

2010-08-24T14:31:00.000-05:00

There's something special about a child's "window" smile. I guess it's just the reverse of that gummy baby smile with the first little tooth poking up.

Serendipity

2010-08-22T14:04:00.000-05:00

We didn't have a lot of time to go to some exotic land far far away for our vacation this year. We'd heard about this fabulous science museum that the kids would absolutely adore, in none other than Oklahoma City. So, we packed our bags. Headed out on our 3-hour-tour (Okay, it really takes us 3.5 hours, but who's being fussy here?). And partied as hard as three teetotalers with three children can in the Great American Heartland.

And by far, the most exciting thing for me was the discovery, a veritable serendipitous event, of this restaurant . . . Ingrid's Kitchen. I had the best Reuben I've had in ages. The kids had grilled cheese on homemade bread. Kaitlin's BLT was scrumptious. And Joseph's brat sandwich was heavenly (to him . . . I stay as far away from brats as I can). The German potato salad had me thinking about it all night (in a good yummy tangy tongue pleasing way). And the desserts . . . well, there just isn't any word to describe them.

Viva la road trips! Viva la oases of tongue-pleasing paradise! We're definitely stopping here the next time we find ourselves in OKC.

Who Was That Masked Man . . .

2010-08-19T12:25:00.000-05:00

. . . or animal, as the case may be.

For the past few nights, we've had a masked visitor on our back porch. You got it, a raccoon. Now, I think these creatures are key-ute! But I don't want them digging through our trash. What to do? Hmmm . . . well, there are plenty of taxidermy places here. I mean, I do live in Texas after all. ;)

Pedicure

2010-05-10T22:29:00.002-05:00

My students got me a gift certificate for a pedicure. So excited! There's something awesome about someone else soaking and lotioning and rubbing away the dried rough parts of your otherwise cute feet that makes me want to sing. It's heaven.

So, thanks, peeps! Viva la pedi's! The closest I'll ever get to the "royal" treatment ;)

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-08T23:31:00.002-05:00

I've been lucky enough to have my mom live with us for the past 18ish months.

So, to my mom, I say thank you! Thank you for living with us. Thank you for all you've done for me. Thank you for being you!

I love you, Mom!

Hope you have a fabulous day!

The Shadow of Your Smile

2010-05-06T00:03:00.001-05:00

I just finished reading Mary Higgins Clark's latest . . ."The Shadow of Your Smile." I've been addicted to her books since college. My friend Cherise introduced me to Mary. We've been BFF's ever since.

Milk

2010-05-04T21:53:00.002-05:00

Today I went to Lucky Layla Farms and bought milk . . . raw milk. Milk full of cream and richness and goodness. My heart is palpitating just thinking about it.

Torture by Camera

2010-05-03T23:01:00.002-05:00

Smile!

But I don't want to!

Say Cheese??

I don't think so.

Please???

Not today.

What torture this is!

Catch Up

2010-05-03T00:05:00.002-05:00

First, I realize that I should change the title of my blog. I'm not really writing everyday. But hey, the title gives me an ideal to strive for :)

Second, I'm not applying for the job. Well, okay, I applied, but I'm withdrawing my application. I love love love my job at the university. It's my favorite job ever. So, I'm not going for the more money. I'm going for the happiness. Better to be happy and poor, right??

Third, I reallllllllly need to start grading my end-of-semester stuff. (Not my favorite part of my favorite job, but I can't complain.)

Employment

2010-04-28T20:34:00.002-05:00

I'm applying for a job at a school district. Yikes! It's a district office position, so don't worry too much peeps. I have no idea how I'll fair . . . the competition will be stiff. The school district is small and lots of people want to work there. They get about a bazillion applicants for each open position. Sigh.

The process goes something like this:

1. I submitted my app.

2. They liked me enough to send me the "pre-screening questionnaire." Five multi-part questions. I need to come across brilliant in enough words, but not too many words. I need to sound like I know what I'm talking about without talking on and on. No pressure, right?

3. If I pass this part (which I have to have done by Friday), then comes the phone interview. It's like that line in Sleepless in Seattle . . . you go out for the drink because if you like the girl you can always go out to dinner, but if you go out to dinner you might be sorry about halfway through. I'm not good at lines, so go watch the movie. But you know, they can talk to me for two seconds or two hours.

4. Next, if I pass the phone interview I get to come in and show my bright bubbly self to them.

5. If I pass the round-robin interview, then and only then do I get to go back for the call-back interview.

Whew! I'm just tired thinking about it. I've never ever ever potentially gone through so much to get a job. So why bother? I love my job at the university. But I would also really like this district job too. Right now, I think it comes down to several things. But underlying it all is a need to put myself out there. To see how far I can make it. To not get a job because I was in the right place at the right time.

But hey, if any of you want to pull some strings for me, I won't object ;)

Where I'm From

2010-04-27T21:33:00.002-05:00

I am from hex signs,

from Sturgis and Lebanon balogna.

I am from carpenter ants (black, hearty, like moving bits of blackberries along the front porch ).

I am from the torrential summer rains, the still waters of Bernhart’s Dam.

I am from diet Coke and prozac,

from Rachel and Leah.

I am from the laugh when you fall and the pick-you-up when you’ve fallen.

From be nice and damn, I’m good.

I am from He is Risen! Families are Forever and I’m trying to be like Jesus.

I'm from Wernersville and Kutztown

Tastykakes and pork-n-sauerkraut, eaten every New Year’s Day so that the year is filled with luck

From the great-grandfather who lifted 100-lb barrels of pickles,

the grandmother who lifted elderly patients from beds to wash and bathe them .

I am from notebooks of names carefully gathered and documented—the settlers of New York, the farmers of the Midwest and the Germans of Pennsylvania, the land grant owners of New Mexico—

names plucked and preserved from the fruit of my family tree.

poem inspired from George Ella Lyons

Foxy Lady

2010-04-27T17:05:00.002-05:00

Shari (age 6) and Rachel (age 4) like to pretend they're characters from different movies they watch. One day they might be Ramses and Moses; another day Luke and Princess Lea.

Sunday they were Robin Hood and Maid Marion, respectively, of Disney's Robin Hood.

Rachel: Hurry, Robin! she then races up the stairs

Shari: Why?

Rachel: Hurry, before another fox marries me!

Because you know, I sure do hate it when I get married and have no say in the matter ;)

Photo Shoot

2010-04-24T17:55:00.003-05:00

Today we went hunting for some bluebonnets. We live in Texas . . . it's the law. Every spring the bluebonnets come up. Every spring you gather your chiluns and spouse, hitch up 'old Bessie and head out to take family photos among the iridescent blue state flower.

Well, we didn't find any. But we DID find Indian paintbrushes--out near Celina, Texas. Here's the result of this slightly untraditional spring photo shoot. (But hey, when have I done anything the traditional way?)

A Picture Says a 1000 Words?

2010-04-22T19:39:00.002-05:00

So, I'll just post these drawings by my daughters and let their work do the talking!

I Love My Rachie

2010-04-20T17:17:00.002-05:00

I picked Rachel up today from preschool. There's this delightful little eatery on the way home from her school (which is out in the middle of nowhere). Elke's. Just hearing the name makes my mouth water. They don't serve so much the best food ever as little slices of heaven on a plate. And I've been thinking about those slices for the past week . . . particularly their cherry pecan cobbler that is sweet and tart and tangy and buttery and all the right combinations of taste sensations. Pure Bliss!

So, today I decided to put a stop to this self-torture and well, stop at Elke's. Being the nice mommy that I am, I'd give Rachel the "choice"--knowing full well that I could use my MMT (mommy manipulation tactics) to help her make the right "choice." I mean, I could practically taste that sweet tanginess! It was killing me!

Didn't work.

We looked at the pies and cakes on the bottom of the display. And Rachel fell in love . . . but too soon! The cobbler was on the top!

The object of Rachel's affection? Chocolate Texas Pecan Cake.

I tried out the MMT's, but to no avail. We walked out of the store with the Chocolate Cake.

We got into the car and a lightbulb turned on. "Hey, Rach, did you like this because it said Texas?"

"Yep! And we're Texasers!"

'nuff said.

Joke from Shari

2010-04-19T21:46:00.003-05:00

My daughters delight in telling jokes. You know the kind, "What do you get when you cross an alligator and a cupcake? . . . A cupgator." The kind where you're supposed to slap your knee, guffaw mightily, and proclaim them to be the funniest kids ever. And the first dozen jokes or so are mildly humorous, I guess.

Even Josh is into the joke telling: "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" . . . Josh then breaks out into hysterics.

Needless to say, this is probably why I crack myself up so much . . . no one else is really that funny.

So I was truly happy when Shari told me this joke the other day, "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Muuuuuulan." "Muuuuuuulan who?" She stares off into the distance, raises a finger, and says, "Uh, I'm still working on this one."

I slapped my knee, guffawed mightily, and proclaimed her to be the funniest kid ever.

Viva la Shari! May she continue to make me laugh :)

Retraction

2010-04-14T22:35:00.004-05:00

The more I think about it, the more I'm really okay with my "jalapeño and fire ants" inside. That's the part of me that helps me stand up for my son. That's the part of me that helps me advocate for the "underdog" and for those who otherwise would be pushed aside by Authority and Status Quo. It's the part of me that makes me . . . well, me!

So viva la Teddi! I really don't think I'd change anything about me.

Ugh

2010-04-14T11:42:00.000-05:00

Really really wish I had a lavender and chamomile inside.

What's Going on With Me

2010-04-13T21:36:00.002-05:00

Applied to grad school, hoping to be a doctor of literacy

Just got my hair cut, want it long but tired of styling it

Found babysitters for the summer, now I can teach and have the money to pay the babysitters

Wanting to go to Ireland, before I die, which might be at any moment (stupid allergies)

Still looking for someone to buy me an iMac, I'll dedicate my first book to you

Still writing, still reading, still mothering, still meing

How have you been?

Crot

2010-04-12T22:15:00.004-05:00

Sounds perverted. Sounds nasty. Sounds like something your mother would wash your mouth out with soap if she caught you saying it . . .

Crot

What's that?

Crot

If I've told you once, I've told you twice,

we don't speak about private parts in public

But I said CROT, Mom,

Not CROTCH,

Not bum or tits or vajayjay or Mr. Winkster or anything

I said CROT

Don't you speak to me in that tone of voice, missy.

Tomorrow's students will yell,

screeeeeeeaaaaammmmm,

whiiiiiiiinnnnnneee,

pull out their hair,

pull out MY hair,

moan,

groan,

and act like babies all because I am asking them to write--gasp! write in a writing class?--in a genre they've never heard of, probably never seen, probably don't care to see,

and quite honestly,

they'll probably have one h*** of a time doing it.

Sugar and Spice . . .

2010-04-07T20:01:00.002-05:00

. . . and everything nice,

that's what little girls are made of.

So, this is what I'm thinking, either we lose that sugar and spice as we grow into women OR I am somehow a woman and missed out on those ingredients when I was being put together OR I am not really a woman.

Hmmm . . . now which can it be?

At any rate, I wish my temper were lavender and chamomile and not jalapeño and fire ants. That's all I'm saying.

I love experiments

2010-04-06T19:54:00.001-05:00

Today's experiment is of the "making antiperspirant" kind. Summer is rapidly approaching here in North Texas . . . and with that brings non-stop dripping while I teach. (Yes, I realize this is a lovely image.) Last summer I tried the all-natural deodorants. While I stank a little less, I still was sweaty and drippy and gross. What's a girl to do? It's so very hard being the cutest teacher in the world when you feel wetter than a rain forest.

Well, I stumbled across a Facebook conversation where someone mentioned making her own antiperspirant. Bingo! I got the recipe. Ran to the store to get the supplies. And now my concoction is steeping. Ahhhh! I'm so excited!

Viva la experiments! Here's to being the driest, cutest teacher in the world this summer!

Architectural Delights

2010-04-05T20:54:00.002-05:00

As I travel around, I love noticing odd little architectural details. This picture is the underside of a building overhang in San Antonio (I said I love the details, I don't necessarily know what everything's called.) The rest of the building was run down, making this detail such a delightful find.

What are some of the favorite details you've seen?

Haiku

2010-04-04T22:09:00.002-05:00

Berries gobbled down

with nary a trace but my

purple juice-stained lips

Monday

2010-03-29T23:56:00.003-05:00

No poem today, but wanted to stop in and say hi. I'm enjoying this fine spring weather . . . hope you are too!

Freedom

2010-03-25T20:32:00.002-05:00

With my four wheels I go

no sitting

no stopping

no standing around

Just

roaming and

wheeling so fast--

I've no bounds.

I thump here,

Go bump there.

See every place I want to see.

With my four wheels I go, go, go.

With my four wheels I'm free.

by Teddi Eberly Martin

revision of Freedom

Meaning of Clean

2010-03-23T20:55:00.002-05:00

"Clean Restrooms" the sign announced.

"Clean Restrooms" as if to say,

"Please come

park your bum,

stay awhile,

on our clean seats."

So we went . . .

but found no soap

no paper towels

no toilet paper.

We didn't stay.

"Clean restrooms" for sure . . .

no one wants to use them.

Play Date

2010-03-19T18:34:00.008-05:00

Peek-a-boo, I see you! Hey,

Now you see me, now you don't.

Red Rover, Red Rover, send Shari over while

London Bridge is falling down.

While Mr. Wolf's out chasing flocks

of kids who play with Bo Peep's sheep

we’ll watch Jack and Jill roll down the hill

right past Boy Blue who’s fast asleep.

We'll rock-a-bye baby, in the tree top

then ashes, ashes, we'll fall down before

ringing around our mulberry bush.

Then off we'll row right down that stream.

Midday we'll visit Muffin Man

and Cow who jumps by light of the moon

We’ll dine on hot cross buns and fat and lean

then feast on pease porridge hot with silver spoon.

When Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town

we'll wish we may, wish we might

have another adventure—a grand play date adventure

come morning light.

by Teddi Eberly Martin

(peeps, leave me some constructive feedback on this one. It's driving me crazy!)

Freedom

2010-03-18T11:12:00.002-05:00

With my four wheels I'm free

to roam

to explore

to escape

to play

to sit and ponder

to zoom

With my four wheels I'm me!

by Teddi Eberly Martin

Sunshine in My Hand

2010-03-17T20:11:00.002-05:00

A thousand golden rays

bursting, reaching, spreading.

On this early spring-shine day

I hold the sun in my hand.

by Teddi Eberly Martin

I'm In Love

2010-03-11T20:47:00.002-06:00

. . . with a big blue frog, a big blue frog loves me.

Do you know that Peter, Paul and Mary song?

I've always been a little puzzled by it, quite honestly. I mean, why in the world would you have PHROG tattooed on your chest? And why does that represent the frog I'm supposedly in love with?

One of life's deep mysteries.

Lesson Plans

2010-03-08T22:29:00.002-06:00

I assign my students that awful task of writing . . . gulp . . . heaven forbid! . . . lesson plans. Can you imagine? Preservice teachers learning to write lesson plans. Gasp!

Guess what I was doing tonight . . . lesson planning. Modeling, check. Guided practice, check. Independent practice, check. Even some anticipatory set and input thrown in just to round out the whole spiel.

My, my, my . . . maybe we do teach these future teachers something useful after all.

Traces of You

2010-03-05T20:42:00.002-06:00

The dimple in your pillow
lets me know you were here.
Your fingerprints on the refrigerator door
tell me you passed my way.
Socks and shoes,papers and crayons
scattered around like leaves after a wind.
All around is evidence of our lives crossing--
and I know that time is slipping by.
So I won't apologize, if just for today,
I don't make the bed
I don't wash the walls
I don't do anything
that takes away
the traces of you.

by Teddi Eberly Martin

Lions and Horses and Ghosts, Oh My

2010-03-04T19:53:00.002-06:00

I picked up Rachel from preschool today. She decided it was "ghost story" time. I was hip. I mean, I can come up with a totally appropriate four-year-old type ghost story. And then I was told that I had the "mean" stories. Rachel, on the other hand, got the "nice" stories. Quite honestly, I couldn't tell the difference between the two, but Rachel could--and that's all that matters, right?

This bonding time continued after we got home. We were on the couch, cuddled under a blanket, and I was directed that the ghost stories were to continue. Who am I to argue?

It was a volleyball match or tennis match or any other sport where the play went back and forth, back and forth. My turn. Her turn. After a bagillion ghost stories, we got upgraded. To lion stories. Ooooh! And I somehow still had to tell the "mean" stories. Go figure.

Next came the zebra stories. My brains were mushy. My patience growing, well, a bit thin. I mean, why is it that children can't focus long enough to hear you tell them "hang up that coat" but they certainly can focus to infinity and beyond on something that an adult loses interest in in like, five seconds. I was actually very proud of myself for hanging in as long as I did.

My saving grace came when Joseph called for Rachel to take her bath. Sweet mother of pearl! I was saved!

The respite was short, however. As soon as Rach came down from her bath, she was back on the couch. "Ready for the horse stories, Mom?"

I must have answered not to her liking. Her face acquired her sad, puppy-dog look. Her voice got that "my life is ruined" tone. And she said, "But, Mommy, . . . . I thought we were having fun!"

Sigh.

PF Chang's

2010-03-01T20:21:00.002-06:00

Rachie and I had a mommy/Rachie day. I love those days.

It started with me going to a meeting that was 50 minutes away to learn something that could have been easily sent in an email. Rach played games on my iPhone.

Then we went to PF Chang's. Rachie was only interested AFTER I told her it was like Pei Wei. She loved eating her "China food" with her kid chopsticks. China food=rice.

Next came the bookstore. My fave. (Let me clarify, not my favorite bookstore. It's just my favorite thing to do.) We went down to the children's section and Rach had the best time. She plopped herself down in front of a rack of books . . . and she read and read. She also got to pick out a stuffed rabbit for her and for Shari. It's Easter. There are lots of them. Everywhere. All the same. But Rachie had to look for just the right one. I loved it.

Next came . . . depositing a check for my mom. I know. The epitome of time spent with my daughter :)

Then we got to settle in at home. She played with her bunny. I took a short nap. Ahhh! Now that truly is my favorite thing to do.

Viva la Rachie/Mommy days!

PS Shari was a little jealous, but she did love her bunny. I'll have to figure out a Shari/Mommy time.

PPS Josh got a little children's Bible. He wasn't forgotten ;)

God Bless Levi

2010-02-27T09:00:00.004-06:00

Strauss that is.

I think the world would be a happier place if we all wore jeans. I mean, really, it is so much easier to face your problems when you're wearing your favorite pair of jeans.

Viva la living forever in blue jeans!

What the World Needs Now . . .

2010-02-26T16:48:00.002-06:00

Remember that song . . .

what the world needs now,

is love sweet love . . .

I sat eating lunch today at a new fave spot. I ate there not because it's my fave, but today I craved its food . . . it was the perfect comfort food.

And as I sat there eating, I thought, no one here has any idea of the battle with mental illness that one of my family members is going through. No one here knows that I'm emotionally drained from worry and fear and sadness. No one here knows.

And as the happy people talked about their happy things, I just wished there were a way we could all stop judging one another; stop the eternal cycle of trying to one-up each other. I wish we could just be kind.

I know I have heartaches, but I also know I wasn't the only one at that restaurant with the weight of the world on her heart.

What the world needs now

is love sweet love. . .

Is there anyone you can show love to today?

Commercials and Kids

2010-02-25T19:56:00.001-06:00

I think the conversation went something like this:

Me: (as Rachel is pulling on my arm as she's climbing up the ladder to her top bunk)--Please stop. That hurts Mommy's back.

Rachel: You need a sleep number bed for your hurting back.

Me: Oh, really?

Rachel: Yeah, and it helps with the sticky-up spots. (She makes a hand motion pointing upward.)

Me: The sticky-up spots?

Shari: Yeah, the pressure points, Mom.

Me: Oh, really . . .

Queso Update

2010-02-22T18:49:00.001-06:00

So, way back when I first moved to Texas I ranted and raved and raved and ranted about the obscene concoction known here in Tejas as "queso."

Confession . . .

I've started to crave it at times.

Most Expensive Sonic Drink Ever

2010-02-20T21:05:00.003-06:00

I know that sometimes you've just got to own up to your poor decisions, but still, I hate it when those decisions result in your Sonic Route 44 Diet Coke with lemon easy ice costing you $204. That's the price of the drink PLUS the ticket for not having your car inspection up-to-date.

And if I hadn't bought that drink, I wouldn't have passed by the police station. And if I hadn't passed by that police station, that darn cop who thought it was his job or something to give me a ticket for being a mere 6 months past due for my car inspection wouldn't have had the opportunity. I mean really, peeps. There are people out there killing and selling drugs and robbing banks and you, Mr. Motorcycle Cop, need to stop ME??!!

Anyway, as I've said, sometimes you just got to own up to your poor decisions. My poor decision? Stopping by Sonic on the way from dropping my kids off at school. Darn that caffeine habit!

Think, think, think

2010-02-12T18:39:00.001-06:00

Some days I just don't know what to write.

Happy Friday :)

Dilemma Solved

2010-02-11T16:54:00.001-06:00

I was unable to ascertain the time of Rachel's party.

But dilemma solved . . .

school is canceled for tomorrow.

Now I just have to deal with the moans and groans as the girls realize that they won't be having any party.

(We'll have to cook up something at home!)

Valentine's Parties

2010-02-09T18:14:00.002-06:00

Shari came down the stairs.

"Mom, we've got a big problem."

"What is it?"

"Rachel and I BOTH want you to come to our Valentine's parties."

"You're right. That IS a big problem."

Ugh. What's a mom to do? I certainly can't be in two places at the same time, let alone two places 30 minutes away from each other. Yikes.

My only hope is that they're at different times.

I'll let you know what my investigation turns up.

Mr. Mom

2010-02-08T19:52:00.001-06:00

Here's a big thank you to my mister . . .

the one who makes sure we have clean clothes

the one who puts the kids to bed and makes sure they have a nightly song and story

the one who lets me be me.

Dilemma

2010-02-04T20:00:00.003-06:00

So, I got three new books in the mail today. I have a book I picked up at the airport recently. And I have several other books just begging for my attention.

Dilemma.

Where do I start?

Culture Clash

2010-02-02T20:46:00.002-06:00

I was teaching my language arts methods class this afternoon at the Dallas campus. (Main campus is in Denton.) Twenty-four students are in the class: 21 are Hispanic, 3 are African American. Just a bit of background. Anyway, so as I was teaching and talking about writers workshop I would say things like, "So when Johnny . . . ." Johnny is my fictitious student when I teach. He's been mentioned hundreds of times over the various semesters. And never has his name elicited this response . . . laughter. By a group of four students. Each time I mention his name.

So, I finally ask, "What's so funny about Johnny?" More laughter. Ok then. One girl finally says, "Or Juan or Pedro?"

I got it. I'm using a "white" name talking to Hispanic teachers and to future teachers of predominantly Hispanic students. Eye roll.

I will tell you that I have tried to change the ethnicity of my fictitious student. But he always ends up being Johnny. Am I pro guy? Nope. Sally comes to visit occasionally. So am I pro white? Not that either.

You see, my culture uses Johnny to represent some unknown person. There's Johnny-on-the-spot, When Johnny comes marching home. Even national reports that feature Johnny telling us "Why Johnny can't read."

So while I respect and encourage my students to be proud of their cultural heritage, and while I am very cognizant of not marginalizing my students' culture when I teach, I will not give up my own culture in the process.

So when these students teach, they can use Pedro or Juan or whomever they wish. But while I'm teaching . . . Johnny will be the one to visit.

Viva la understanding one another and allowing ALL cultures a chance to flourish!

GRE Part II

2010-02-01T21:31:00.001-06:00

Veni. Vidi. Vici.

GRE

2010-01-31T17:36:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow.

Noon.

Pray for me.

Giggles

2010-01-29T22:17:00.001-06:00

Lately either I'm giggly like so many champagne bubbles or I'm mopey so like so many Eeyores.

Maybe it's time to get my meds adjusted?

The Puzzle Pieces

2010-01-28T21:21:00.002-06:00

Back in my 20's (and even my teens), I KNEW who I was. I had this image of me . . . and a list of adjectives to describe said image.

Organized

Intelligent

Patient

Taker-on-of-all-things

well, I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

Then at the end of my 20's, I got married. I had a similar list for my husband.

He-who-could-do-no-wrong

He-who-always-knows-the-right-thing-to-do

He-of-infinite-wisdom

Then my 30's hit. And my imagined self kept bumping up against my "real" self. I found the puzzle pieces of my life when put together weren't creating the image I'd always thought they would. And the people in my life weren't who I'd imagined they were.

Conflict.

So I've spent the better part of my 30's coming to grips with who I am (at least a little more realistically) and saying good-bye to the idealized me. It's quite a humbling process.

And you know what, I'm quite okay with who I really am.

Viva la self-discovery! May it make me and those around me a lot happier with life.

I Know What a Sock Must Feel Like

2010-01-20T17:23:00.002-06:00

Or any other article of clothing that has gone through the wash.

After teaching my first day of spring semester, I can empathize with the aforementioned sock. The gentle undulating. Okay. This isn't so bad.
The rinse cycle. I'm drowning! I'm drowning!
The spin cyle. Are there words to even describe this stage? The increasing speed. The flattening against the side of the machine. The wringing out (okay, spinning out) of every last drop of wringable/spinnable moisture.

And quite honestly, I actually felt like a sock that had gone through the extra rinse (which also means the extra spin) cycle.

Whew!

Would I change a minute of it? Not on your life.

Viva la teaching! It's what gets me up in the morning.

iPhone

2010-01-18T22:08:00.002-06:00

So, I want to blog more. Really. But I rarely find myself in front of my computer anymore. I have an iPhone. I love it. But while it makes checking things online handy, I find the actual having to type anything not so handy. I mean, besides texts. I'm in love with texting.

So, viva la iPhone! And viva la taking the time to get out my computer so I can keep the masses entertained ;)

Denver

2010-01-13T21:47:00.003-06:00

In approximately a week I will be in Denver visiting one of my absolutely favorite people! I'm so excited. Now I realize that most visitors to the Rockies this time of the year go there for the skiing. But not me. When I think if skiing I think of a thousand different ways to harm, maim, injure, or hurt myself. And that doesn't include the hundreds of ways I can envision dying.

So viva la ski lodge with a nice book and a cup of something warm!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-12T18:22:00.002-06:00

So, I made it through the holidays. Actually, I really enjoyed the holidays. The kids are at the magical ages (4 and almost 6) when everything is exciting and joyous and new.

The twins did turn 6 the first week of January. I'm a little sad. To me this is their first "big" birthday--the beginning of the end, if you will. I mean, no longer can I count their age on one hand. Shari has lost her two bottom teeth and the replacements are rapidly coming in. Joshua is usually full sentences more and more. I have big kids now. Not babies.

On the days surrounding their birthday, I just stared at the twins. I'd look at them and find the features I saw in them as babies. I'd think back to the countless hours I spent in the NICU, hoping, praying, rejoicing, and sometimes just plain old pretending to rejoice to not show my heartache.

In these past six years, we've had multiple surgeries, numberless doctor appointments, early intervention sessions and classes, PT and OT visits, and on and on. And what do I have to show for it? More than a few gray hairs, but also two wonderfully healthy children.

Thank you for all of the help and prayers and support. Without you, I wouldn't have survived!

Viva la miracles. Viva la Shari and Josh!

My favorite carol ...

2009-12-23T19:52:00.000-06:00

"Christmas Bells"
(The original poem, complete with all seven stanzas)

"I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Of mice and gingerbread men

2009-12-21T22:00:00.002-06:00

Today Mom made gingerbread cookies with the kids.

The girls were properly attired in their aprons. Josh sat on a chair next to the counter. It was the epitome of coziness and cuteness.

Thanks, Mom!

Tooth Fairy

2009-12-20T20:50:00.002-06:00

Shari lost her first tooth yesterday! [Lower right (if you're looking at her) if you'd like a visual.] And that, my friends, means that I got to play Tooth Fairy for the very first time.

So, if this were a commercial, I think it would go something like this . . .

Playing Tooth Fairy . . . $2
Seeing Shari's excitement and hearing her exclamations of glee . . . priceless

I just love that little girl of mine!

My recommendation for the evening

2009-12-17T21:02:00.001-06:00

A quarter-plate of rice krispy treats and a 20-oz diet coke don't mix. Just in case you were wondering.

I Hope This Isn't a Portent of Things to Come

2009-12-16T19:17:00.003-06:00

I was greeted by Josh's teacher this afternoon with "We got into trouble this afternoon."

My face tightens into the "I'm brave! I'm ready! I can take it!" look.

"Josh threw scissors at a friends face today. He told the principal that he was sorry and that he wouldn't do it again."

The principal. In kindergarten. Lord, help us all!

Prozac

2009-12-15T22:30:00.001-06:00

Going three days without your high dosage of meds isn't a good thing.

I'm just sayin.

Brain Mush

2009-12-14T20:26:00.001-06:00

On my drive home today, I thought of a zillion different things I could blog about.

But then Brain Mush set in. You know, that aching, mushy, melted feeling that occurs when you're brain has been required to perform for too many hours straight in a row?

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to remember what it was that I wanted to blog about.

Pork-n-Sauerkraut

2009-12-13T22:08:00.003-06:00

I think of my middle school home economics teacher every time I serve that epitome of Pennsylvania Dutch food--pork-n-sauerkraut. I look at the whitish potatoes, brownish sauerkraut, and even browner pork. I was taught we should include a rainbow of colors on our plates. But you know what, I'm not about to mess with centuries of tradition.

Viva la pork-n-sauerkraut! May it continue to bring pleasure to generations of taste buds to come.

Glitter

2009-12-12T20:50:00.003-06:00

I picked Josh up from school on Friday. Mrs. Weatherford, his teacher, greeted me, "We were using glitter in class today. Josh has some in his hair."

Again? Second time this week. Not that I mind though.

She continues, "Actually, I have some in my hair too. We had a glitter fight in the class."

I'm just hoping Josh isn't the one who started it. That's all I'm saying!

Favorite Bumper Stickers

2009-12-10T23:25:00.001-06:00

Mine: 1/20/09 . . . The end of an error

Mom's: I Miss W

Yes. It's interesting living under the same roof. ;)

Tears and Rain

2009-12-09T21:09:00.002-06:00

In the desert the rain usually comes without warning. It comes fast. It falls hard. It's over before you know it.

Grieving tears are often the same. They come out of nowhere. They fall hard. They disappear in the mysterious way that they came.

Pinecones and Hollyberries

2009-12-07T21:04:00.003-06:00

Joseph and the twins picked out our Christmas tree this afternoon. I got to come home to the savory pine smell. It's what makes it Christmas for me. That smell. And that's why I just can't get a fake tree. I've thought about it. Several times. I mean, it would be so much easier to just pull the tree out every year right after Thanksgiving. It would be easier to not have to worry about spending the money on a tree at the least convenient financial time of the year. And let's be honest, it would be sooo much easier not to have to continually vacuum up those blasted pine needles.

But that smell of thirty-six Christmases, of Dad coming home from working the midnight shift at the time we were allowed to come downstairs to open presents, the smell of going in on presents with my sister so that we could buy our siblings the presents we thought they deserved, the smell of the Christmas story being read by my dad in his police uniform--that's worth any amount of inconvenience or effort. And now I get to add the smell of excited children as they race around the house in their Christmas high as they help decorate. Ahhh! Nothing could smell better than this.